Day of the Mothers

Mother’s Day is always such a debacle for us. It used to be that we would try to spend time with both sides of the family (Tim’s mom and my mom) but frankly that created hard feelings I guess so we needed to find an alternative. And we did. For the past few years we have hosted a Mother’s Day BBQ at our home and invited the whole family. We provide all the food so nobody has to cook… they just have to bring a lawn chair and whatever they want to drink. That’s it. It takes the stress out of the holiday for everyone. Well everyone but Tim and I but my day will come. I know it. We even invite Tim’s Aunt to join in the celebration because frankly Karla is like a psedo-Mother in Law to me anyway. She is a total doll and I am lucky to have her in my life. And it doesn’t hurt that every year she brings dilly bars from Dairy Queen. It’s pretty awesome. We always make sure that Kyra is by her mom for the holiday and vice versa for father’s day. Although I must say I would really appreciate a text from her to have a great day or something but not this year. Sad Panda. It’s been almost 13 years being her “other mother” and I have always tried not to let it get me down. When I had the girls I think I strained our relationship a bit because I concentrated all my efforts on my girls. And making sure I bonded tightly with them. I forgot about Kyra (because it was difficult) and I genuinely regret that. Then when she got all moody and I reached to her and attempted to help her (or at least communicate) she was not having it. I thought it was because she was being a temperamental teenage girl.Thats what everyone told me.  Not even considering the fact that I may have hurt her. On a primal level. That’s why my little buddy disappeared for so long… because I pushed her away--- and I will never do it again. I love her very much and I don’t ever want to hurt her.

Woooosaaahhhh--- don’t cry Trina.

Anyhoo. The picnic. BBQ. Whatever you want to call it… went well. We did a few gift exchanges. My mother in law is a peach and every year gets me a potted plant for my yard. This year was different though because she asked me what type and color I wanted. It was the first year she ever directly asked me my opinion and I was thrilled because now every time I look at it I am happy. Not only because it came from such a thoughtful person but I actually like it and I don’t wish it to be anything else! It’s totally me and that is important. That’s where thoughtfulness counts. When it actually affects the intended person. That’s the best. Not just the pleasing and satisfaction for the giver (because you know that’s true). Y’all may disagree with me (I would expect it honestly lol) but that’s how I look at it.

The girls were so sweet and each decorated an envelope for me. Inside those envelopes were necklaces. One from each of my babes. One a silver set of shearing scissors (for my new sewing hobby) and the other a giant moth type butterfly. I loved my gifts. We got Sharon some cool artsy birds for her garden as well as a mosaic pitcher to use as a planter. I haven’t seen them out in the yard yet so I hope she actually likes them. Maybe she is just keeping them in the house or garage till she finds just the right spot.  My mom is a hard person to shop for because she is so darn picky. And like her daughter, when she wants something, she will just usually buy it for herself. Happy Tuesday she used to say (for no particular reason). So I tend to be creative with her and I know it seems random and weird to other people but it totally works for us. Her first gift was a pedestal crystal pie plate (don’t get too excited it came from a rummage sale for 2 bucks… their loss and my gain) because she has really been into making cheesecakes recently. I say Go MOM!!! (I shall volunteer to taste test anytime). The other gift was a little weird but so funny (and thoughtful). About a month ago mom and I were at a rummage sale where there were these 4^th of July decorations that the man wanted 2.00 each for. There was 4 of them. Mom asked him to take 1.00 each and he said no as they were new. I knew she wanted them but she said no thanks and we were on our way. She totally wanted them. So we got through our day and I dropped her off at home and went directly to that sale. I asked him if he would do 1.50 each (still a discount which she would like but then she could actually own them). He reluctantly said yes and I took all 4. Two for her and two for me. So I can always look at them and remember the story.  I told the gentleman that she was probably going to come back to buy them (which she did) and he should tell her that someone bought them shortly after she and I left that morning. Asking strangers to lie for you is horrible I know and probably a sin ,but it’s just a little white lie for the greater good… so It’s okay. That’s what I tell myself at least. She laughed so hard. It was totally worth it!